Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Missed Her, Missed her, Now You Can't Kiss Her

I know some great women who are single and looking for love and I know some great men who are single and looking for love. A question I can't stop asking these days is: how come these great people keep missing each other? Why don't they end up together? Why do they keep finding the emotionally barren, the impossibly needy, or the bitterly angry women and men? Does this happen by accident, or is personal sabotage lurking even in our well-armored hearts? Is it commonplace? In any case, where do these great women and men find the energy to try again and again and again? I guess I have lots of questions. Lately I've taken a keen interest in how technology aids and abets these great women and men in their seemingly endless and often heartbreaking searching, finding, pairing and un-pairing. In a curious twist, I recently witnessed an instance in which a coupling was actually prevented by technology--or more accurately, by an error on the part of the imperfect, but well-meaning humans who tried to use technology to manifest a union.

David* is a great guy. He's 24, he's athletic, he's spiritual, he's a teacher (grade school, no less), he's generous, he's kind, he truly respects women and yes, Virginia, he is attractive. He's ready to open his heart, to let someone be special to him, and to share his intimate self with her.

Shaddah* and Olive* have been dating on and off for over 5 years. To say that their relationship has been tumultuous and volatile would be like saying that it rained a little bit in NOLA at the end of August in 2005. They're not dating right now, but they still talk frequently and get together socially.

A few days ago I sat with Shaddah as she told David about something that happened a few days prior. Shaddah and Olive were riding the train, coming home from a concert or something, and they saw a pretty girl in a summer dress and they both knew she was for David. Olive approached The Girl and told The Girl about David. She said she though The Girl would be perfect for him. Olive even showed The Girl a picture of David she had on her cell phone, saying, "This is what he looks like. He's attractive too", and The Girl agreed. The Girl seemed very excited and pretty much sold on David. She said she was new in town, so she didn't know very many people and that she would be very interested in connecting with David. So Olive gave The Girl David's email address and they talked until Shaddah and Olive got to their stop. Shadda and Olive were quite pleased with themselves and couldn't wait to tell David.

David grew more and more excited as Shaddah told the story, and when she finished he said, "You gave her my e-mail address? That's great!" "Yep! DavidW@hotmail.com*!", Shaddah beamed.

"What? No! My email address is DavidW385@hotmail.com*"

We had a good chuckle and I suggested that David become a regular reader of Craig's List's 'Missed Connections'. As of the time of this posting, David has not heard from The Girl.

*Not their real names/e-mail addresses


TQ said...

If I were him, I'd be opening another hotmail account in the form it was handed out. If he's lucky, no one else has it. If he's unlucky, then he's got to wait until the young lady ends up following you on Twitter, at which time I'm sure you'll do your best to put Harry and Sally together. Nice piece. Should become a weekly update.

MsCarlaPauline said...

Thanks, Terry! I'm going to be posting a lot about these topics (intimacy/isolation/technology/relationships) in the weeks to come. I may post one tonight...