Saturday, August 27, 2011

In Which I Make It Evident That I Am Quite Possibly Too Sensitive

Milwaukee Trip by Señor Codo
Milwaukee Trip, a photo by Señor Codo on Flickr.
Every time there's a jumper on the Blue Line, it rattles me and makes me very sad. I just wish whoever it was knew how much at least one person in this world loved them, and knew that no matter what happened today, the world would make less sense to someone without them in it.

Someone got the worst call in the world tonight, and it was so very unnecessary. A layoff? A lover's rejection? A failed test? Overwhelming debt? These are reasons to phone a friend, not forfeit the most precious gift we'll ever receive (written like a true formerly suicidal person). What is missing from this equation? And why the fuck do I care so much?

Anyway, tonight I did what I thought I was supposed to do--what this person for some reason couldn't. I spent time with people who love me and I loved them back. I made life worth living.

It was so weirdly moving to watch the chaos of life going on on my way home this Friday night--all the disrupted commutes; all the mundane workdays suddenly turned in to circuses; all the people who would eventually fall into loving arms, hungry legs, or a suitable facsimile tonight; temporarily derailed.

I looked into every pool of people at every Milwaukee bus stop and I wondered where the person who triggered the frenzy would have fit in. I was sure they belonged there. I was sure this was a mistake.